While going through my journals and writing my manuscript, I realized how much God answered my prayers on August 17, 2008. In a paragraph from my journal (from before 8-17-08), I wrote:

"These chains to Shawn bind me and keep me in a place of torture around the clock.... I need someone to cut the chains that prevent me from moving/escaping this painful place...It is hurting me too much God, do you see that? What is the purpose now? really...do I need to learn something else here God?? Please teach it to me now. I feel like I'm paddling in the deep blue ocean, my arms heavy and tired. I'm exhausted, I'm lost, there are no "signs" and I start to lose the ability to paddle. I'm not even sure which way I should be paddling, where is N/S or E/W...where is there land? There is no end in sight...at that moment, all I want to know is, will I survive this? Is there a shore? Will someone rescue me?"