Love Can Build a Bridge by Westlife

This WILL be sung at the concert, a human bridge will be built....From pain and fear to love and peace... 2011 is A HUGE year. A new beginning for so MANY, a healing year for so MANY. I have been getting many messages from those that have abused, which was somewhat of an "unintended" consequence... THEN AGAIN, my "message" has always been and still remains rooted in love and forgiveness.... LET'S PLEASE NOT FORGET, those that abuse ARE NOT "EVIL" OR "MONSTERS"... think with your heart... I have posted this message for 2 years... PLEASE remember, MOST that abuse were abused as a child ALSO! THAT DOES NOT MEAN that what they have done or are doing is ok, IT IS NOT. IT IS A CRIME. AS AN ADULT, they NOW HAVE A CHOICE... They NEED TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE IF THEY MAKE THE WRONG CHOICE AND THEY NEED TO BE HEALED AND FORGIVEN...THEY WERE A "VICTIM" ONCE TOO ....

Welcome to my "blogspot", the purpose of this site is to raise awareness on all types of abuse and to encourage anyone who has been abused in ANY way, to start talking, and break the silence. I used to feel so ashamed because I was in an abusive relationship, particularly because I was a Police Officer.

Once I broke my silence, my abuser no longer had control over me....as I began to use my voice, the shame began to disipate. I was a "victim" for many years, I am an empowered "SURVIVOR" today.

When I broke my slience by calling the police, the "walls" came down, the denial I hid behind in order to survive began to fade, I began to face and "feel" all the pain from so many years of abuse.... A reporter recently asked me, "Which is worse, the physical abuse or the emotional/verbal?" I replied, "The physical abuse stops hurting and heals, the emotional abuse doesn't".

Abuse comes in MANY forms.... many abusers abuse verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually, like my abuser did. I encourage you TO BREAK THE SILENCE. Abusers tell you to BE SILENT, I understand, but "Slience is a "silent" killer".... I know. It robs you of your soul, your spirit, it makes you feel powerless...it hurts...

Let's START TALKING and STOP ABUSE.... WE OWE IT TO OURSELVES, OUR CHILDREN...

The long term effects of abuse:

“The truth about childhood is stored up in our bodies and lives in the depths of our souls. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings can be numbed and manipulated, our perceptions shamed and confused, our bodies tricked with medication, but our soul never forgets. And because we are one, whole soul in one body, someday our body will present its bill” By Alice Miller

"911" Call I made to report the abuse from my abuser (8-17-08), I am proud of myself for finally reporting the abuse and no longer cowering down to him....

https://docs.google.com/leaf?id=0B5J_wpolwxC6ZGU0NzAzZmEtNjc5Ny00OGVjLWI4NWMtNWQzMzNiMzFmM2Ri&hl=en

Martina McBride - A Broken Wing

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Federal Judge Dismisses Lt. Shawn Murray's Federal lawsuit in which he claimed he was falsely arrested for Domestic Violence August 17, 2008

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On July 23, 2010 I was deposed for Mr. Murray's Federal suit against CPD and Lt. Reno, it was the first time I got to use my voice (it is not the last). The Judge then dismissed

Mr. Murray's lawsuit in which he claimed he was falsely arrested.

The "system" (DA's office) failed to hold Mr. Murray accountable for abusing me, despite the evidence that clearly showed the abuse I sustained. The message to Mr. Murray and other abusers is "We only prosecute 3-4% of those arrested for abuse, so go ahead and abuse others because we will not hold you accountable for your actions, nor will you have any consequences for violating the law".

Unfortunately, his ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, and I sent him that message for 23 years (there is documented abuse from all 3 of us). We covered for Mr. Murray out of fear, I stopped covering for him and his abuse on August 17, 2008.

Carlsbad Police Department acted appropriately and responsibly when I called "911" to report the abuse. The Federal Judge has acted appropriately and responsibly by dismissing his Federal lawsuit in which he claimed he was "falsely arrested".

This "system" asks, "Why didn't you call the police?", then in the same breath they say, "Oh, we're not filing charges against the person who abused you."

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